Here today ...Well...you know the rest....

 

Hey guys, so a friend asked me to tackle a subject that maybe close to a lot of your hearts. It’s happened to me in some way, shape or form and I’m sure I’m not alone in this experience. In going along on this weight loss journey many of you understand the joy and jubilation of dropping substantial amounts of weight. You get a new sense of purpose, a sense of freedom and ultimately a new beginning. For many of us this experience usually runs in tandem to with another type of loss that isn’t quite as enjoyable.

 When you change (physically, emotionally or spiritually) you tend to see things differently in your everyday life. You are inclined to see people differently as well. All of a sudden friends, love ones, significant others, spouses, life partners and even family look, act, sound, and appear different. Sometimes we can chalk this up to outgrowing one another, or even being in different places in our lives. However in many cases the reasons for these changes are simple and devastating. I’ve had several people express to me that since their journey began (whether through weight loss surgery or the good old fashioned way) they’ve lost friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, and family members and most times it’s through no fault of their own. Sure it does a body (and mind) good to drop 15, 20 even 30 pounds to take a step towards a healthier lifestyle. On the contrary when the weight loss is a staggering 50 plus pounds and you transform into a whole new person people’s true feelings tend to creep to the surface. As your waistline shrinks undoubtedly so does your inner circle, and for some of us the realization that these people NEVER really had our best interest at heart is demoralizing.

 

You want nothing more than to celebrate your accomplishments and triumphs with those you love, but what happens when those who are supposed to be in your corner leaving you standing alone? Speaking bluntly, tell them to KICK ROCKS! Period! I made the best decision ever before I embarked on my journey. I prayed to GOD that he remove ALL those who were not conducive to my progress, sanity, positivity or lifestyle. I asked him to limit my circle to those who truly cared about me and my well-being. It hurt to lose friends, loved ones, and a significant other but I gained so much more in return. I gained a true since of support and love and a whole heap of it came from people I LEAST expected. I was blessed to have true friends and loved ones in my corner, but I’m aware that this is not the case for others in my position. Let’s keep it real…jealousy is a cruel beast. Not everyone is good or good for you and sometimes those you live and lay with can hurt you the most! Examples of some situations you should RUN from:

·         As a couple you embark on a weight loss journey together, he/she loses a lot but you don’t and then you start looking into surgery options and he/she is against it?

·         They are supportive of your initial decision, but once they see your results they change for the worse (emotionally, mentally, physically abusive or unsupportive)?

·         You were the life of the party as the funny FAT one and now the invitations have subsided?

·         You are totally into the lifestyle change but they do things to deter or alter your course (i.e. food choices, workouts)?

·         They were NOT there when you were larger and now that you are smaller they have a whole lot they want to say, do and prove (don’t believe the hype)?

 I despise the superficial and artificial but often we don't see these things and people for who and what they are. At the end of the day the decision for change should be solely fueled by a WANT or even a NEED to change, because this is really a life or death decision. The real work begins after the cuts and incisions are made. If you were pushed to embark on this journey for other reasons (vanity, popularity, insanity) I question the effectiveness of your results and I strongly urge you to look to yourself for the real reasons for your decision. True enough support from my TEAM (God, friends, family, the bariatric center, doctors, staff, and loved ones) was KEY IN MY SUCCESS.  I truly understand that I could not have made it this far without them. Although I have been met with disappointment and loss due to my decision I take solace in the fact that those people were simply not meant to be a part of my journey. I’m on a mission for me myself and I.  I spent 28 years in the wrong damn body, and I refuse to be trapped for the rest of my life. I implore you to make whatever you feel is the right decision for you. You have to live with the results, regrets, or consequences. Until next time my loves …Beauty, Lace and a Slimmer Waist.

~B~

Got a comment or a question?  Leave it here or hit me up:

 

Sistersinsurgery00@gmail.com

https://www.facebook.com/shehotta

It's the LITTLE things!!

Happy April Everyone! 

So I was inspired to write today’s blog by a trip I took a few weeks ago. As I mulled through the airport terminal and had the (always lovely) virtual strip search by security I began to get nostalgic. In my “fat girl” past airports were something to fear, especially if I was embarking on a trip by myself.  My level of anxiety would always peak with the initial boarding call, and would continue until I had safely reached my destination.  Those experiences played through my head as I boarded my flight and took my seat next to the window. The emotion of this particular day was not the same as those of yesteryear but for some passengers I could see similar turmoil and anxiety creep upon their faces. I studied them while they slowly secured their items in overhead bins and quietly whispered into the ears of the nearest flight attendant. I knew that feeling, lived that experience, and wore that worry on many occasions.  It was what I like to refer to as being obese (by society’s standards) on a plane otherwise known as B.O.O.P (forgive me for not providing a more descriptive title but I feel that one will suffice).  

B.O.O.P had been a part of my life for many years. I was well traveled as a kid and teenager, which is essentially where B.O.O.P developed and began to take its toll on me.  The process was the same; it started with the agonizing journey to my seat, especially if the option to select a seat wasn’t available.  I can remember hoping that I was sitting next to someone who was really little so that I wouldn’t make them uncomfortable.  The worst part was always the seat belt fiasco. Trying to maneuver and reposition my girth in order to officially secure myself into the seat. The strain of pulling and tugging on the seat belt in hopes that by some magical miracle it would fit without further hassle.  Finally the embarrassing tasks of calling the flight attendant to humbly and quietly request a seat belt extension only to have them shout out my request for all around me to clearly overhear. I can recall the ubiquitous stares, whispers and judgments of the other passengers who wore their thoughts squarely on their faces.  “I hope she’s not sitting next to me”, “Back away from the table fatty”, “Go on a diet” were all the thoughts that I was positive coursed through their brains.  

 Needless to say I grew to loathe flying.  In addition to flying several other activities began to highlight the fact that, as I was getting bigger, my options and surroundings were getting smaller. Amusement parks roller coasters which were once my favorite pass time were now a no go. It only took one embarrassing mishap where the lap bar was unable to securely close for me to give up going to them completely for the next 15 years.  Movie theaters, concerts, sporting events, you name it, I was too big to actively and comfortably enjoy it. All these things raced through my head as I sat in my window seat on the plane, clicked and tightened my seat belt, and watched a woman come take the aisle seat next to me without incident.  
 

As we began to depart I felt the sting of tears roll down my face. I was crying partially out of joy and partially out of unbelievable pain. I began to think about my little triumphs and accomplishments on this journey that meant so much to me, but in the grand scheme of things were minuscule to others.  Clicking the seat belt on the plane without the need for an extension was a BIG deal. Crossing my legs comfortably for the first time was a BIG deal. Riding every roller coaster at Magic Mountain for the first time since I was 15 years of age was a BIG deal. Clicking the seat belt in the car without searching under my rolls for the connection, walking without getting winded, dropping it like it’s hot, tying my shoes without suffocating  and trying on clothes and having to go back to search for a smaller size were all HUGE accomplishments for me. They were things that people who were not overweight tended to take for granted. The small things, that brought tears to my eyes and made me respect and cherish the opportunity to live my life anew. I was taken aback by these feelings as the airplane I was in reached its cruising altitude. Looking out my window I realized that I was seeing the world with brand new eyes. Truly living without limits, taking care of myself and my temple, and helping others believe in their ability to do the same. I stared out the window content with the little things, and excited about the possibilities. Beauty, Lace and a Slimmer Waist! J

~B~ 

Got a comment or a question?  Leave it here or hit me up:  

Sistersinsurgery00@gmail.com

https://www.facebook.com/shehotta